We're going on vacation next week and I'm white as a ghost. Was thinking of a little spray tan to get a head start. Do you know any place that won't leave me orange and streaky?

–Vicky

We haven't tried them ourselves but our sources say that Faux Glow is the best. It's totally safe and they use organic products...so it seems like a pretty good bet instead of the ol' "fake and bake!"

I'm looking for a facialist who makes house calls. My son really needs a good pore cleaning, but there is no way I'd get him to walk into any kind of a salon.

–Anita

According to our favorite facialist, home facials can't really do the trick because the facialist can't bring along the proper steaming equipment necessary to get a good cleaning. What about taking him to a dermatologist who offers those services in the office? Many derms have people on staff who give a "medical facial"--a fancy term for a deep cleaning when it's done in a doctor's office. Of course he won't get a fancy robe or a cup of herbal tea, but we get the feeling that's not what you're looking for!

Is there a place that exists that can slough the copious  amounts of dead skin off my body. And I'm not talking about some pansy sugar scrub either!

–Karen

Oh baby, do we have a place for you! Yi Pak in Koreatown. But let us give you a little head's up...you will be the only non-Korean in the place and there is very little English spoken. There's a lot of pointing and gesturing. Choose package #2 (the two-hour sauna/body scrub/massage/hair wash/cucumbers on the face deal for $120). They'll shuffle you back and forth between the wet sauna, dry sauna, massage table, shower...and scrub off so much skin you practically go down a pants size. Don't get scared when they get up on the table and start walking on your back. It's all part of the experience. Admitedly, Yi Pak's a far cry from the spa at the Mandarin Oriental but believe you me, you've never had more skin scrubbed off. Oh, and don't be surprised that the people working there are wearing uniform bras and panties--it's pretty wet in there!

My husband is making me a birthday party and I was thinking of getting my makeup done before. I'd like to have someone come to my house. Do you have someone?

–Lorie

Call the very beautiful and very talented Monique Benoit at 516-983-6515. She'll come to your home and make you look like a way pretty version of yourself (translation: not an overly made-up tranny version of yourself!).